shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Holy sore nipples Batman
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
