Umm I'm too high to move.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
