I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
