let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
