Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
