You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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