the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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