you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
