True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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