Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
