How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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