sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
