How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
