wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
