By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
