i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
