She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
