Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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