I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
