im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
