Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
