No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We're too hungover to prance.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
