Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
