did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I need to stop coming to work sober
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
