She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
