loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
