I'm gonna have a badass scar
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
