I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
