The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just cut my nipple shaving
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
