turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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