come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
