Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
