She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
