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• (248): View more from Michigan

  girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.

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• (916): View more from California

  Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's

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• (+81): View more from

  He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????

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• (469): View more from Texas

  He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Oh dear. Sending much love.

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  Just send a machete.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.

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• (408): View more from California

  Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces

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