I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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