The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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