I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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