I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
