He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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