Where did you get a picture of my penis
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
