Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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