his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
