I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He felt like a one man threesome
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
