I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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