No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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