how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
