Plan B is the new Plan A
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
