is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
