If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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