he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
